How real is our forgiveness?

Based on the KaarmiBeing philosophy there is no real “Forgiveness” in life. Most people believe in the Western world that real forgiveness exists. Throughout the year we forgive our kids, partners, parents, etc for any wrong that we feel was done to us. It is very common to say “I forgive you”. 

The KaarmiBeing philosophy teaches that real forgiveness doesn’t exist and that forgiveness is only a psychological trick. 

The reason behind this misleading perception is that we are only able to repress our feelings (i.e. anger, disappointment, abuse, disrespect)  and convince ourselves that we forgive the other person. Eventually, at some point in time, even in the distant future, these feelings will pop up again as soon as the situation between the two people becomes radical enough.

Let’s take the example of parents forgiving their teenage daughter for staying out all night without calling to say where she is. The parents are very upset and angry about how stressful this event played out. 

Their teenage daughter apologizes and the parents say “we forgive you”, believing that they really did so. However, if their teenage daughter is late home again or disappears with her friends in unusual circumstances, their harsh feelings of anger, will immediately resurface. The feelings from the prior event will pop up again, in contrast to the previous apparent “forgiveness”. 

That is why in accordance with KaarmiBeing philosophy it is important to remember this teaching, especially in close relationships.

Knowing that real forgiveness is not an option will lead us to become more conscious not to hurt or offend others. If it has already happened, meaning we hurt or offended someone who eventually forgave us, we need to understand that it is not real forgiveness. Knowing that it may pop up in future we need to act in a way that will not reactivate the past event in the future. 

In the example above, this can be achieved by avoiding coming home late without telling her parents in advance. 

7 steps to your wellbeing